Before she became the First lady of Ekiti State, she was the globe-trotting advocate of all that is right ad proper for the African Woman. For her, a woman should be treated with respect and life should be about keeping promises and leaving a legacy. In this insightful interview with FUNKE EGBEMODE, Erelu Bisi Fayemi tells her advocacy story and why women should not ‘sweat the small stuff’.
You moved from being a very busy career woman, a citizen of the world, to being first lady of Ekiti. How was that for you?
Well, I found part of it quite easy to adapt to, and I found part of it quite difficult.
Which part was difficult?
The level of expectations that people have of you is sometimes unrealistic. There is this assumption that if you are an occupant in any government house, there is a tree at the back of your house that provides money that you can go and pluck from, like the way you pluck fruits. The demands are ceaseless and relentless.
That’s why I give thanks to God for the opportunity to serve people and to be in a position to help with the needs of others. Sometimes, it does get to you the level of need out there and the expectations that people have that you are able to solve every single problem. Of course, not every expectation or every problem is about money. Still, there are lots of demands on my energy, on my time and attention. Those are the part I found a bit difficult initially but I am used to it now.
What was the easy part?
The easy part was working with people of different persuasions and positions here and so on. I have done that most of my professional life. Working in women’s movement, on social justice issues. So, that wasn’t something that I found difficult to do. Also, working in this environment, this political environment in Ekiti is something I have done over the years. All the time my husband was engaged in the legal battles to retrieve his mandate, I was commuting between Ghana and Nigeria trying to give him as much support as possible and working with women in Ekiti. So, I was not a stranger to the dramatis personae in the state.
How were you able to make the transition?
The point at which my husband retrieved his mandate which was October 2010, I was actually in transition at the African Women’s Development Fund. By that time, I had spent ten years with the foundation. I had actually planned to leave that December regardless of the outcome of the legal struggles. But the board of the AWDF and the staff convinced me to stay for another year. So, the plan was that I would leave in December 2011 because quite frankly, I thoroughly enjoyed my work at the African Women Development Foundation as the Executive Director.
I loved the work I was doing; I loved the way in which we were able to support African women organisations across the continents with policy making and technical assistance and meeting people in different countries and so on. But it had been 10 years of hard work. Ten years of travelling all the time, travelling two to three weeks in a month. It has been 10 years of coming back from Europe in the morning, heading off in another direction maybe Asia or African country in the evening. I was tired. It was after these four years of combining that with the political adventures that we are engaged in Ekiti State plus looking after my children, my husband, making sure that he is all right and so on. So, I was ready for a break. My plan A at that time was that if my husband didn’t get his mandate back, I would stay on in Accra for one year and then relocate back to Nigeria. There were some things I had lined up that I wanted to do.
I needed to give myself a break, my body a break to try and think of doing something else. So, coming down to Ekiti, a place that is quiet, compared to the other places I have lived in. You called it a rural state, it’s a developing state, I love the peace and the quiet, the hills and the fact that I don’t have to travel as much as I used to. There are people, who used to tell me I like the way you travel all the time, you get to see different parts of the world, how I wish I could have that kind of a job. They make it sound so glamorous. Yes, it is interesting to travel all round the world but when you have to do it over and over again. At some point, I think I felt as if I own shares in South African Airways, British Airways (laughs). So, I love the fact that I don’t have to move round so much that I can sleep in one bed for 2, 3 weeks at a stretch, not packing and unpacking.
For me, it was a luxury in those early months. I just could not believe my luck. Sometimes I would have up to three suitcases packed. One suitcase for going to Europe because it was cold and when I came back, the next day I am going off to somewhere in Asia, it is warm. When I am coming back from that place, I am going off somewhere else. Sometimes, I pack for both. So, I needed a break. Seriously, the transition was not bad and also you get to a certain age where you can’t handle all these anymore. I have always been open to new experiences, to different ways of seeing the world, to adventure and I love the fact that we are going to be here, serving our people and making good the promises that we have made.
How much of your career did you now bring to bear on the office of the first lady, from your other life?
I must admit, quite a lot. I made no secret of the fact that if my husband became governor of Ekiti State, I would like to do whatever I could to raise the status of women in Ekiti State and to ensure that they are real stakeholders as opposed to a community of people you use when there is an election season coming up. You use women to fuel the party machinery, for them to do all the dancing, the cheering on and the cooking and when you have the mandate that you are seeking, then they get relegated to the background. There is always a reason a woman can be in a certain position, there is always a reason a woman can do this and I hated the fact that women always had to beg to be recognised or to be included. So, I am grateful for the opportunity to be able to work with the women of Ekiti State, to ensure that they are real stakeholders.
Ekiti State is the first state, in the country to domesticate the National Gender Policy which was passed by the Federal Government in 2005 with an understanding that different states in the federation will use it as a blueprint for women’s empowerment and gender equality. But apparently, it hasn’t been taken seriously. Ekiti State, domesticated that in June 2011 and in addition to that, we have had other legislative and policy framework to promote the status of women in the state. We have a Violence Prohibition Bill of December 2011. More recently in December 2013, the governor signed into law the Equality Opportunity Bill in the state, which is, as far as we are concerned, a major achievement because it makes Ekiti State the first state in the country where the governor has assented to the bill.
There are two other states, where the bill has been passed by the Houses of Assembly but the governors have not signed the bill into law but in Ekiti State, it has been signed into law and that’s a major achievement. In addition to that, we have been able to record a significant number of women in decision making positions. One of the issues I advocated when my husband was still a candidate for the party in 2006/7 was that he should have a female running mate. Because by the time the primaries in the then AD, had been concluded in December 2006, I discovered that there was no space for women at all in the state. There were no female candidates for the National Assembly or for the state House of Assembly. So I said, we can at least have a female running mate and that’s how we had the late Mrs. Olayinka as my husband’s running mate. It was very sad and a dreadful blow when she passed away. But we were fortunate that her successor, Prof. (Mrs) Adelabu was there to take up the challenge. We went from having zero women in Ekiti State House of Assembly to having 4 in 2011 elections.
We now have a record number of women in the cabinet and in the senior civil service as permanent secretaries and on boards of parastatals. On the whole, in the state now, there have been tremendous increase in the number of women who are putting themselves forward for leadership. Women have earned more respect, they are now coming out in large numbers, wanting to compete for public offices, to be part of decision making and I think that has been a tremendous progress. I am really happy and humbled to be part of that.
The Gender Violence Prohibition Bill, has it been signed into law?
Since 2011. We have the Gender-Based Violence Prohibition bill for 2011 and the Equal Opportunities law of 2013.
Has it been put to test at any point since then?
The Gender-Based Violence (GBV), absolutely. We have quite a number of cases of domestic violence and sexual assaults. Ever since the bill became law, there has been more of awareness. We are not saying the level of violence has decreased, not necessarily. What has happened is that women now know that there is such a law in place to protect them. There is a management committee that was put in place by the state governor to implement the gender base law and I chair that management committee.
Those who sit on that committee are representatives of different stakeholders in the state who are keen about the success of the implementation. For example, religious leaders, the ministry of information, education, etc. The police, the judiciary, traditional rulers, etc. They all work together to see how we can help create awareness on the need to have zero-tolerance for violence against women. So, now women know that there are some people out there who will take them seriously when they come forward to report either domestic violence or sexual assault or rape. It seems as if the floodgates have been opened, more and more people are coming forward with different kinds of complaints. On the other hand, it seems as if there is an increase in the level of reported violence but I will like to interpret that to mean that more people now know that things will be done.
They are coming out to tell their stories?
Yes. They are now coming out and the culture of silence is broken. We also have cases where in grassroot communities, where there are quarrels, the women will tell their husbands, I am going to report you to Erelu (Laughs), their husbands will say ehn ehn ehn. We also hear men saying, if they are quarrelling with a woman either in the market place or at home and they say I would have beaten you if not for the law in place (laughs). So, it shows that there is awareness out there, that there will be sanctions. It’s not going to be business as usual, and people are looking out for them when they come forward but there is still a lot of work to be done.
Do we have cases of people who have been taken to court and sentenced because they where violent?
Absolutely, we have got at least two convictions recently. A man was convicted for raping a 14-years-old in one of our communities last year. He was sentenced to nine years imprisonment. I would have wished it was longer than that. One man was sentenced to death for rape and murder towards the end of 2012. In 2012, there was a case of an elderly woman in one of our communities in Ekiti who was assaulted by a gang of youths, on accusations of witchcraft. Her case was similar to the recent case of the young women who were brutally assaulted at Ejigbo in Lagos.
This was an old woman who was accused of witchcraft, they said a young man was ill in the community and she cast a spell on him and they went and beat her up trying to force her to confess and she died as a result of all the torture. Of course, as to what happens under these circumstances, the case was swept under the carpet and the community was set to close it. But because of our persistence and insistence, the case is now in court. I won’t make any further comments on that, we pray that justice is done. The victim has passed on but we hope that at least even in death she will find justice. If the law takes its due course, it will serve as a deterrent to other people who would want to take the law into their hands.
What you are doing here, Ekiti people are just the beneficiaries. Do you see yourself doing it on a larger scale, at the national level?
Yes. There is the Nigerian Women’s Trust Fund which was set up with the support of the Federal Ministry of Women Affairs and Nigerian Women Trust Fund is supposed to be an entity that mobilizes resources for Nigerian women who want to go into politics and also carries out advocacies for the need for more women to go into decision making. Early 2011, I was asked to chair the Nigerian Women Trust Fund, on the basis of the work I have done around advocacy and resources on women’s rights mobilizing in different parts of the world. So, through, the that, I am able to serve as an advocate on those issues at the national level. But in addition to that, I travel around the country, giving lectures and seminars, and motivational speeches to professional women, young women, etc.
I am only too happy to be here in Ekiti working with women where I am really needed. But every now and then, I don’t mind going around to different parts of the country talking about these issues and serving as an advocate on women’s right. Having said that, I would like to see a lot more co-activity from the women, holding certain positions in this country. The female members of the National Assembly, for example, and women who hold ministerial positions. We are very proud, of the fact that we have such significant number of women. The numbers are still not enough. But the ones that we do have, we are proud of them and in what they have been able to achieve. But I would like to see more done, because for me, the real significance of having women in those positions will be what they have been able to do to impact lives of millions of women in the country.
It’s not just about jobs for the girls, because if you are just asking for jobs for the girls, then how are we different from the men who have occupied those positions over the years and who have made bad policy decisions which have impacted negatively on the lives of majority of the people. If we are going to have women in these positions, they should firstly, be able to think differently, and do things differently, so that it is not business as usual like the boys. Secondly, they should be able to do things that impact on the lives of women. Women are the ones who are the poorest of the ones in our community.
Women are the ones who die giving birth, women are the ones who are being brutalized, raped and assaulted, on a daily basis, and women are the ones who bear the brunt of having to juggle family responsibilities with their careers and so on. So, I would like to say in concrete term what women in leadership can do to support the majority of citizens in the country who happen to be women, like themselves. Thirdly, I would expect that women in certain positions should be able to leave a legacy behind.
When you leave the position that you are in today, for whatever time you have had that job, what would you be remembered for? How would you like to be remembered? As one who came and made a huge difference in people? One who came and change things or transformed things? Or as somebody who just took up the job because you happen to have the right connections, you happen to be a woman when they were looking for women. How does that help the cause of women? At least that’s not what a feminist like me has been fighting for all these years.
Now, looking back at the space between October 2010 and now, what would you say has gladdened your heart most that you have impacted on this society or this state, Ekiti?
I would like to believe that it’s the support I have been able to give to my husband as the governor of this state.My husband is perceived as someone who is very serious; he doesn’t have time for certain things. There are some who might even think he is distant, the academic type, etc. On the other hand, I am perceived to be the kind of person who mixes easily with people, who does not mind attending functions, regardless of who is having the event, regardless of where the event is taking place and accessible and people appreciate that. So, that enables me to support my husband and it gives him a better image that makes me happy and I am proud of that.
A lot of people out there appreciate the fact that the governor’s wife is available to support them even when Mr. Governor is engaged elsewhere. Another thing I’m proud of is seeing joy on the faces of the women whom I work with and the testimonies they all share about how their lives have changed whether I am there or not, and about how they now know that they have rights and how empowered they are. That gives me a lot of joy and happiness.
Let’s look at the next four years, if the election gives your husband a second term, what are you planning for the next four years?
I think the next four years will be about consolidation, building on what has been achieved so far, I would like to see some in-depth implementation of the legislation and policy framework that I have put in place to support women. I would like to focus on capacity building for the women we have in different leadership positions especially at the grassroots level right up to the state level.
There are some things I have been doing now in that regard. We have a forum of women in leadership, for example, which I set up with the late Mrs. Olayinka when she was the deputy governor. Now the new deputy governor, Mrs. Adelabu is now co-convener with me and the forum has members‑ the female members of cabinets, female legislators, the female board members and so on. It’s a space where women can come together to support one another through peer learning, mentoring and capacity building and we have had training programmes for them within and outside the country.
I would like to build on that right now at the grassroots level so that when we are advocating for more women to go into policy and decision making, it’s the right kind of women that are prepared because they have the skills and capacities and they are not there just to make up the numbers. There are some issues I would like to do more work on. They have always been there but now it seems as if we need to pay a little bit more attention like the alarming levels of teenage pregnancy in the country and particularly in the state. I would like to do more work on that. So, those are things I would like to do.
You have a foundation that takes care of widows and orphans, does Ekiti have bad widowhood practices, that dehumanise widows like we have in the South-East?
The most common widowhood practice around here that we can say infringes on the rights of women is dispossession. A man dies and the woman is dispossessed of everything. Fortunately, in the state, we have a widowhood practice law that was passed under the administration of Otunba Niyi Adebayo. We also have the Equal Opportunity Bill of 2013. Those two pieces of legislation take care of those issues around harmful traditional practices specifically to do with widowhood practices. So, if those cases occur, we make sure the victims get justice and the perpetrators, face the full wrath of the law. Every time we have the opportunity to interact with people in different communities, we raise the issue as well. It’s also common with the Gender-Based Violence Prohibition Law. So, in Ekiti State, anyone who finds herself dispossessed of anything or anyone who finds herself maltreated, because she is a widow, will be supported by the state. So, those incidents are becoming few and far in-between. But we still have issues or occasions when it occurs but it’s not at a pandemic level in the state.
What will you say are the limiting factors for women coming out for elective positions, it is one thing, to be appointed but we don’t seem to have many women in Nigeria who really desire to run for any elective position?
There are a number of factors. If you consider the way women are socialized from when they are very young into being a certain submissive, quiet and unassuming; you cannot afford to be overbearing, you are not supposed to be aggressive or assertive, you are not supposed to speak in a certain tone of voice. Someone must have authority over you whether it’s your father, brother, husband. So, if women are socialized into an understanding that they are second class citizens and that there is always someone who will have authority over them and that person is a male, it’s going to have implications for whether they decide to put themselves forward, in leadership because it then means that the whole notion of women being considered as leaders is something that we are just getting used to. Things are changing now and more and more women are coming. If you are married and your husband doesn’t support your political ambition, it will be extremely hard for you considering the amount of hours it takes to hold political meetings, the odd hours, the odd locations and so on. Only a few women are up to it. It is extremely demanding. Then, our lack of access to mainstream political party machinery. It’s very difficult for women unless you have a godfather who happens to be your father, your brother or your husband. Then that could relieve things for you. But if you don’t have those kinds of connections, it might be difficult to get certain things on merit. But unfortunately, there are all these assumptions about women who do eventually get somewhere in partisan politics have done so on the back of a man, a boyfriend, lover whatever. So, women seem to lose all the way round because there is no level playing field. That should not deter women, however, because that is how the game is set up. It’s set up against even men because men who are progressive, who have certain values who want to come and serve, find all kinds of barriers and obstacles in the way. My husband is an example. The Kayode Fayemis of this world are not the kind of people who you expect to become governor, anywhere in Nigeria, because one of the first questions people were asking my husband when he started was, are you serious? Can you go into politics (laughs)? You human right activists, you want to become a dirty politician? So, because of the way the game is set up, it’s set up for a certain kind of person who just wants to get into the game to make money so that they can support themselves and their families and not go there to serve the people. Or to be part of a much broader vision about the future of the country. So, it’s hard for men, it’s even harder for women because women have added obstacles around their gender and how they are socialised.
The governor said that when he was campaigning, he went to all the communities, were you on the campaign trail with him?
Absolutely.
How was that?
Very interesting. Dusty, nonstop driving. It’s our community, it’s our state. I loved every single minute of it. I loved going around the state, meeting with our people and understanding what their needs were, acquainting myself with different locations. Of course, it was very stressful but it was absolutely necessary. You are asking people for their votes, you want to sell yourself to them; you want to sell your ideas to them. The very least you can do is show up and meet them where they are. Since then, I have gone around with him again or on my own, to visit women from different parts of the state for various things.
Are you going to do that again now?
Absolutely.
Or you have started?
I have not started that. We have not started the campaign proper but when we do, I will.
Three years and four months down the road now, what will you say if you were to compile like 10 things that the office of the first lady has achieved?
As I mentioned earlier, I advocated for Ekiti to domesticate the National Gender Policy in the state.Today, we have the Ekiti State Gender Policy. I established the Ekiti Development Foundation which has supported thousands of Ekiti families in various ways through many free economic empowerment programmes. I have advocated for the Gender-Base Violence prohibition, which is now supporting women and young girls in the state and protecting them from violence and seeking redress. I have been able to advocate for the Equal Opportunity Bill that has been passed into law now, and part of the Equal Opportunity Bill is the inclusion of 35% affirmative action for women in Ekiti State.
Has the 35% affirmative action been achieved in Ekiti?
That’s what am saying that’s part of the Equal Opportunity Law. Those are parts for the provisions of the bill.
Has the governor given us the opportunity to have that?
Yes. He has signed the bill into law.
He has to appoint enough women to fill that quota.
Exactly. So, now we have got it. That’s what I meant by now the next stage is capacity building, to ensure that women are able to take up positions. So, that’s another significant achievement. As I mentioned earlier, I established the forum for women in leadership which provides support for the various women we have in key leadership positions in Ekiti State. I have been able to encourage a critical mass of women into leadership in Ekiti. I set up a forum for the spouses of Ekiti State officials, similar to COWLSO in Lagos but we didn’t call it wives of the officials because we have a lot of women in government and we want their spouses to be involved in what we are doing. So, we call it a Forum of Spouses of Ekiti State officials. Since 2011, every year the Ekiti Development Foundation which I established has convened an Ekiti Gender Summit in collaboration with the Ministry of Women Affairs. We have done three now, and this Gender Summit is a forum where Ekiti women at home and beyond can come and share ideas and also receive advice, information and training. One of the major programmes that I have been involved in at Ekiti Development Foundation is the establishment of the Funmi Olayinka Diagnostic and Wellness Centre that was put in place after the passing away of my dear friend and late sister, our deputy governor. The Ekiti State government said they want to put on a lasting legacy to remember her and I have been working on breast cancer and mobilizing resources to get facilities in the state to support women. So, the EDF collaborated with the Ekiti State government to mobilize the resources and the equipment which we now have here at the diagnostic centre. I have been able to support the establishment of a food bank in Ekiti State that provides nutritional support to those who are unable to feed themselves and those categories of people include the elderly, orphans, and runaway children, indigent widows, people living with disabilities who are unemployed and persons living with HIV/AIDs who are too ill or unable to work. When we started distributing raw food from the food bank, we discovered that some of those categories of people are even unable to cook the food that we give them. So,we started a soup kitchen. At least in six local government areas in Ekiti State, we have soup kitchens which are run by volunteers, who themselves are beneficiaries. We provide them with the raw food which they cook themselves especially for the elderly who are unable to cook for themselves.
Is it a daily thing?
In some of the soup kitchens, the demand is so much that they cook every day. But in some places it is three times in a week. And it is supported mostly by the donations from EDF, but also lots of our friends and political office holders are sponsoring the kitchens in their different constituencies. In doing that, we were able to reach hundreds of people who are unable to feed themselves, because whatever you do as a government, there are still people who will fall through the cracks who you will not be able to support. So those are the things I can count as achievements.
But there are more?
Yes. I established a Multiple Birth Trust Fund in Ekiti State.
Multiple Birth Fund, how does that work?
We have a lot of families around here who have twins, triplets and so on. Some of them have children already. So, if God blesses them with triplets and they already have three children and one of them is unemployed and the other is just struggling to make ends meet, you can imagine what that family will go through and we have had such cases where the husbands abscond. There is a family I am visiting at the teaching hospital, the woman just gave birth to triplets, the husband has taken off; he is nowhere to be found. So, the Multiple Birth Trust Funds supports the kids of these families. For those who need treatment, we have a small trust fund that we set up for them. Recently, we entered into an agreement with two banks. There are 21 families of triplets. So, we invested some capital for for their future needs and education, that’s about two hundred thousand naira each. That’s huge. In addition to all that we do, there are lots of advocacies about family planning. Because if you already have two children and you have twins now, that should be the end of the compensation. There was a family who had 6 children and they had twins, totaling 8 children in all. Even when the state is ready to offer them free education you can imagine the strain. So, it goes hand in hand‑ awareness, family planning, women looking after themselves, their nutrition, diet, etc
I find that one exciting because you find multiple births all over the place; they are always begging for one thing or the other. So, how would this continue when you are no longer in office?
The multiple birth trust fund is located in the ministry of women affairs. What I just did was I advocated for its creation. It’s something that the government agreed to set up. What I did is just to be the spokesperson but it is run by them and as the ambassador for the initiative. My foundation, Ekiti Development Foundation also receives in-kind donations that we use to support recipients from the trust fund. In-kind support like food, baby clothes and also the awareness rate in our sensitisation.
A woman multi tasks on a daily basis. there is always a tendency to wake up by five and get to bed by 10 and forget about yourself. What will be your advice on career busy women who would also have to play the role of wives and mothers?
I think it’s very important for us to plan, as effectively as possible. Don’t get out of bed in the morning if you are not clear within your own control about how you are going to spend the day. Some people get out of bed and say ok, I will see how today goes. It will probably be like every other day. Have a plan for the day. There should be times for you to be able to do the things you want to do. There are 24 hours in a day and if in those 24 hours you need to do something that will require 50 hours, it means that you will have to strategize. It is important for women to take care of themselves because we are very good at taking care of others. Our children, our husbands, our family members, our friends and so on. We have all these pains and we would want to go on medications for them. That’s the worst thing you can do to yourself. I have had friends who are at the verge of death because they did not take care of themselves. It’s very important for women to take care of themselves. It is important for us to set out time for us to be on our own. It is ok, to sit and read a book or find time to pray and meditate or watch TV, or watch a funny Nollywood movie. Create time for yourself and that depends on your circumstances. Some of us find it very difficult to do this. Discipline yourself, so that we can let go of the stress. Thirty minutes is enough. So, we need to take time out for ourselves and, I think at a certain age women should learn not to sweat the small stuff. One of my mentors, when I was at the African women development fund, she used to say, ‘oh, Bisi don’t worry about that, don’t sweat the small stuff’. And the small stuff includes what somebody thinks about you, what somebody said about you, that’s small stuff. Concentrate on the things that you are able to do and you do it well. If you make promises to people, try and keep the promise but if you are not able, let people know you can’t. There is a whole lot more I could say but I think planning, taking care of ourselves, taking time out and not taking on bad energy, don’t sweat the small stuff. Surround yourself with positive minds and positive people. Don’t surround yourself with people who drain off your energy.
Source: The Sun
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